|
17. Peter - 2011-08-27 12:53:22 |
My dealings with psychopaths have left me struggling with my own self worth despite repeated efforts of no contact. I continue to somehow get lured into sending money. I don’t know if it’s the wording of her message or my complete inability to comprehend the situation. Am I an abuser or am I being abused? I have never in my life been so completely out of whack with who I am anymore.
Right now I’ve chosen to focus on my work and am seriously trying to find myself. As I do this I’ve found I have a tendency to reach out to others only to find myself been drawn into a bizarre web of contradictory and hypocritical behavior on my part. I now look at myself as having ulterior motives when I feel the urge to help someone when in fact my whole life I’ve felt the opposite. I have done exhaustive research into this personality disorder wanting desperately to confirm it has been me and not her. At the end of the day I’ve only messed myself up. Despite the fact I’ve been open and honest and subjected myself to criticism for my acts, in the end I cannot come clean of her. There always seems to be something that comes up and I hear from her. And please, don’t think I’m not guilty of the same thing. And yet, when I reach out to her, I need to know she is ok and things are moving forward. But things don’t ever work out that way. In the end I find myself sending money. Why does it always end up this way? Am I continuing to buy my way to keep contact? I don’t want it to be that way and just want to be done. To not feel like it’s me hanging on when I know it’s over.
Reading about psychopaths has given me great insight into how minds work. I’ve continually maintained over the course of my life that I’m gullible. Am I capable of deceitful behavior? Absolutely….but in my heart I want to do good and was so cleverly manipulated by a woman that my entire outlook and view on life has rendered me uncaring and downright mean in some situations. And yet, as I reflect upon those times I get mean, it’s merely me telling another psychopathic woman that I am not putting up with her crap any longer. I am trying to work out being with another of these people. I am so stupid and silly. I need to get mentally healthy! I just want to be loved by a woman like I love her. Is that a psychopathic statement? Is that a line a psychopath would use on a woman? If I NEVER leech off a woman and do anything I can to make her comfortable and happy, often times at my expense emotionally and financially, am I psychopathic?
What messed me up early on was my undying love and devotion to a woman I loved beyond compare. I never cheated and put up with her behavior when it disturbed me and tried to say nothing. When I did say anything, I would be reprimanded and demeaned. Although I lost my balls, I reverted to the tactic of getting even and doing things just as bad as she did to me. It was a survival mechanism for me and although none of the encounters meant anything, I continued to endure a life of being pussy whipped.
I then had a woman come into my life that painted an amazing escape to my current situation. Through strange twists and turns, I now find myself right back where I started and reeling from the financial onslaught which continues to this day. What am I not getting in this picture? Why can I not stop contact? Why can I not ignore her when she reaches out to me even though we both know we’re done? I read so much on this subject, continue to berate myself believing I am psychopathic, and yet am drained continually the entire time trying to figure out what is going on.
Why am I having such a hard time figuring out if I’m a victim or a predator? What the hell has happened to me?
|
 16. Deb Knowlton - 2011-06-12 07:06:00 |
I have to say I have read many opinions on this subject and also the behavioral traits. You have by far taken it to a different level of understanding.
My mother is a psychopath. I struggled my entire life in a state of confusion with little self esteem as you can imagine. The truth has given me the information needed to come to terms with my own person. I now see what I was lacking through the years and have started to heal.
Information is powerful.
Thank You for your insight and willingness to share.
My Blog monstermomthepsychopath.blogspot.com has allowed me to share my journey prior to my book "The Power Of Undeserved Loyalty" being published.
The Victims can become Victors.
Best Regards,
Deb
|
|
15. FH ambassador Asia-Pacific - 2011-04-30 06:08:48 |
| Hey, so you know about the <fishead( movie covering the topic of psychopaths already? www.fisheadmovie.com/ great music, great science, great artistic aspects, life-saving...... |
|
14. christine hurley - 2010-12-06 13:22:37 |
Hi..I love your write up but as I read I found you describing a narcissist and a misogynist..narciiccist don’t grow up emotionally and a misogynist uses women to live of..
Easy signs to look for while meeting them its taken me five years to get this to a te...
SIGNS TO LOOK FOR
PSYCHOPATH.... they are pissed off with everyone work and ex oh man do they ever hate the ex... from there words total bitch...its all the other person’s fault..within the first two meeting he will tell you something negative about yourself.
MISOGYNIST... he is looking for a mother and purse.. he is going to tell you all the sad stuff in his life and your going to fix it all for him... ohh man the guy is full of tradgy... Run like hell
NARCISSIST
something talking I don’t need anyone I have it all.. he will do nice things for you make you feel special but you won’t see him three four times a week.. you will be one of many... look for the signs.. he will have a hair dryer..he will have ladies shampoo... and hair brushes.. your not the only one..
why do I know all this I was married to a misogynist took me 18 years to figure out what the hell it was .. I was in my second marriage didn’t want to be a failour....
Narcissist... he was a boyfriend I didn’t know a misogynist is also a narcissist... you will find most of these guys quiet because they are thinking of ways to manipulate you...they suck the very life core from you...YOUR need for approval is what attractes them.... Any man who comes near me now I ask myself "who are you" get them talking about the ex listen to him complain about money.. these guys are mean with money....if you go UH! twice on the first meeting run like hell.... that is your warning sign...... good look girls sorry for spelling ... or grammer.. Im in a hurry and wanted to add this. |
|
13. I know i’m not crazy - 2010-05-20 07:42:13 |
| we have a psychopath in the family. he has a new bride who he convinced that the past 12 yrs of my marriage to his brother has been a fake. convinced her to the point that she was setup to convince my husband ! i can go on and on and on. . . i feel sorry for her but there’s nothing i can do and i’m not getting involved cause my marriage is too important to me. i left calling him a psychopath and telling her to get a good support group. i left there drained out of my mind. he vowed to stay connected to my husband. my hubby doesn’t want to, but, when these people are determined to do something, they’re almost unstoppable. |
|
12. Mike H - 2010-03-05 14:26:20 |
If Im correct I saw a ton of photos of a concert I was at in 1988 of Frank Zappa in Teaneck NJ I was 18 at this concert and sat near the back right I had no idea the stage was in chaos like that. Hilarious was a wonderful last Zappa concert. He died before I could go to another. I been sad every day since his death.  |
|
11. StevenW - 2010-01-29 08:11:37 |
| Read your page on psychopaths and was very impressed with your "real world" description of the problem they pose for the rest of us. Your reference to the "smirk" grin tendency especially hit home. As a former law enforcement officer, I dealt with psychopaths on an almost daily basis, and I would recognize that smirk anywhere. They didn’t even have to open their mouths; it was like they were wearing a sign. As for their increasing in number, Lord help us all. They aren’t described as "interspecies predators" for nothing. |
|
10. Wishtoremainanon - 2009-04-26 12:02:19 |
To the author/creator of this website, in particular the psychopathy section. Not so long ago I encountered my first sociopath. This is the first site which so accurately describes this person more than any other I have visited. The thing which still haunts me today is how great an impact emotionally and mentally this person had in my life in such a short space of time. I don’t know if anyone has ever read or has knowledge of psychopath’s whose goal is to drive someone to suicide and therefore have to accept no responsibility for their death. If so, this would interest me immensely because I am still in the learning process of what happened to me. I found that educating myself on the type of person I was dealing with was healing to my spirit and mind.
Thank you for this site. |
|
9. jm - 2009-02-13 05:24:17 |
Good that you have added to the information about psycopathy.
It is increasingly clear that this is not a treatable condition. But rather a genetic variation of human; a preditor/preditor of and by the species.
There are a few sites (books) that (correctly) observe that our current civilization is based upon what psycopaths (and their friends) have done in all cultures past. And are doing now.
I do not think using the words "psychotic" and "psycho" is appropriate. In general psycopaths are not psychotic. They are not mentally ill in the same sense a schizophrenic is. Although they can be.
J |
|
8. Terrie Collins - 2009-01-18 00:18:30 |
 Reading this has been very helpful to me as I was involved with a sociopath. |
|
|
Sign guestbook