" target=_blank> 30. beanie - 2009-05-02 13:11:59 |
| Since I’ve taken most of your other names off my DLand list, can you let me know if you update any of them?? Glad to see you posting on a regular (sort of) basis again.. |
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" target=_blank>29. yankeechick - 2009-05-02 04:40:27 |
| No one should be pissed at you for doing what you think is best. Blog People can be a fickle lot of folks and often just throw up their hands and drift away when you don’t say or do or feel what they think you should. I’ve had many people come and go and we just have to get over it, I guess! No choice. But do keep writing! Me and Beanie and The RatQueen are still reading for sure {even tho’ I haven’t seen any Crystal Balls rolling around over at my place lately....ahem!} My wish for you is that this all works out well and gets you to a happier place in life! |
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" target=_blank>28. beanie - 2009-05-01 18:52:39 |
| Gee you didn’t piss ME off, just made me wonder.... anyway, as for the rest of your post, there is a whole lot that no one knows about man and the earth... |
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" target=_blank>27. Rattus Regina - 2009-04-25 22:19:59 |
| lol There has been a mass exodus away from d-land this week, hasn’t there? I’ve had my blogspot for a while now, but it is sort of weird to have all of these new addresses for people. Almost like they’ve moved to a new country or something. |
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" target=_blank>26. yankeechick - 2009-04-15 19:15:07 |
| So glad to see you update and let us know what’s been happening. I sincerely hope it works out well for you. {{hugs}} |
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" target=_blank>25. beanie - 2009-04-15 06:09:36 |
| Glad things seem to be working... hope they continue! |
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" target=_blank>24. Anne - 2009-03-25 17:22:15 |
| Hey girl...how are you?? |
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" target=_blank>23. Miss Hiss - 2009-03-07 15:34:28 |
| Lei, I seriously think you need to go off for a while and read up (again?) about Co-dependence, especially since the "shrewd manipulation" (i.e. controlling behaviours) you seem so proud of is simply one more indicator/symptom of that particular trait. And I too am all for people making their own choices, good OR bad -- and I literally couldn’t give a flying fig what others do as long as it doesn’t affect me. (This includes YOU and your choices about your "vows", incidentally.) Thankfully for myself, though, I prefer to control my OWN life by being assertive and NOT by "enabling" and supporting others’ consistently unhealthy choices when they impact negatively and destructively on ME. Others need to take responsibility for, and manage. their own behaviours -- NOT me. (And not you, either.) And I reiterate what I have already told you a dozen times; I get very, very cross when I read ridiculously generalised comments like yours about all men being "opportunistic bastards". I am only going to say this one last time to you, even though I know full well you’re not going to take it on board this time either (and that’s okay, too -- that’s your choice); NOT ALL MEN ARE BASTARDS. Obviously, the ones YOU’VE known are, and I’m deeply sorry about that. But some of them -- including, oh, let’s see, my father, my brothers, my uncles, my cousins, my grandfather, and pretty much EVERY other man I’ve ever known, had a relationship with or been friends with -- oh, AND the man I married -- are decent, honourable, hard-working, kind, emotionally mature and stable people who DO NOT use others and marginalise others and treat others with contempt, disdain and indifference and who aren’t in a "relationship" or a "friendship" with others purely for what they can get out of them. I don’t think anyone is saying you should cut men out of your life, Lei; I think what people who care about you are suggesting is that you start associating with a better calibre of men. I also reiterate (and paraphrase) what I said in my last comment; While you continue to associate with the Gs of the world who -- because of THEIR chronic opportunism and laziness and YOUR co-dependency issues and your compulsive need to be a "rescuer" and "caretaker" and "adjuster" who happily assumes responsibility for others at the expense of your own needs -- spot you from miles away and home in on you and use you for what they can get out of you BECAUSE YOU LET THEM, in the name of "friendship" and because of your unwillingness to confront them and because you think that, with enough love and effort on your part that you can "fix" them -- you will ALWAYS be a willing (and unwitting) perpetual victim. And until you develop better assertiveness skills in your own life and divest yourself of these "opportunistic bastards" and hangers-on and once and for all, you will never have the time or the chance or the energy or the inclination or the faith to meet all those many, many good men out there who AREN’T – and who sure as hell don’t deserve to be lumped in with your long list of losers. (Finally – handing over that responsibility to someone else to call in G’s transgressions to the INS so you won’t have to "argue the point" is just one more symptom. That is NOT someone else’s job. For fuck’s sake, Lei – DO IT YOURSELF.) Love, R xxx |
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" target=_blank>22. Poolie - 2009-03-07 14:39:14 |
| This statement is irksome, Lei. And you said it. "I guess some friendships are dependent on your friend doing what you want them to, vs. making their own choices, for good or bad. That’s all right. We all have our own boundaries and our own views." We did not make our remarks to ram our choices, we said what we said because we care. I would expect you to say the same things to me if I posted something about wanting to bungee jump with frayed ropes. I sincerely DO NOT THINK you would say, "Wow, Poolie! I support your choices! Go ahead and potentially kill yourself." Do you NOT SEE when people truly care about you? You have all these people here in Cyberland taking the time to help you, but you still want to dive off the cliff for the SECOND FUCKING TIME! |
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" target=_blank>21. Poolie - 2009-03-07 14:20:56 |
Why would you ask Rosie to call INS for you? So you don’t have to be responsible for your choices? I am baffled. Do you really think you deserve this man? Why on earth are you so hell-bent on punishing yourself? And no, not all men are fuckwits and bastards. I firmly believe in the law of mental attraction. For some reason, you keep repeating this pattern. And then you make up excuses about why it is okay. this is not noble, Lei. It isn’t humble or noble. It’s like you are insisting on standing in a vat of gasoline with a lighted match.  |
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